The Sign

(Ace of Base, 1993)

There are signs posted ALL over RMNP that say "It is illegal to feed or approach the wildlife." Do people adhere to these strongly worded edicts? Noooooooo sireeeeeeee Bob. The first year we came here we wanted to get a bull horn and announce "Please step away from the wildlife." Now I want an air horn. I want to scare the pants off stupid people who would walk right up the elk and ask for an autograph if they weren't afraid they'd get spit on. Oh, wait, that's camels.

Anyway, I mentioned this dark desire to Ron tonight as we saw a group of three people about 15 feet away from a pretty large herd. He thought it would be great if I could hide in a thicket of aspens and time my blasts to coincide with the shutter clicking. I pointed out that if I did that I would be approaching the wildlife. So he said I should just lay out in the field and wait for the wildlife to approach ME. There are no signs posted that prohibit that sort of behavior. I'm game and I know the elk are (game, that is).

Ron and Tyler got to go to a millionaire's lair the other night. Our woodcarver friend, Jeff, invited them to a guys' night out with some of his church buddies. The ranch spans 165 acres, has five homes and a lake. You can fish, kayak, shoot arrows at one another, ice fish and skate (weather permitting), go ATV-ing and barbeque on a state-of-the-art grill. One building is completely dedicated to games - video, foosball, air hockey, pool, pinball and upstairs is a honkin' home theater. The place is fully stocked with all the requisite gear needed to indulge in these activities. Tyler said the fridge in the game house took up a whole wall. The guy who owns it was a founder of both Blockbuster and Boston Market. Ironically, Ron worked on both of those projects back in the day. This particular property (he owns 32 properties all together) is reserved for "God's work." So this group of guys head out there three or four times a year to smoke cigars, burn steaks and share their faith. I'm guessing it's also used for retreats and conferences.

Ron had told me that they'd be home early, so I started listening for the car about 11:00. At 11:30 I was convinced that they were in a ditch, hideously mangled and surrounded by salivating wolves. By 12:00, they were careening off a cliff in the park. By 12:30, when they got home, I was a mess (duh). A few tears even slipped out before they could tell me about the amazing time they had.

I thought all this blogging would drain my imagination, but nooooooooo sireeeeeeeee, Bob.