How Road Rage Begins

This morning, Ron and I were running a few errands . . . the bank, post office, HyVee. At the post office, Ron stopped to let a car turn left in front of us since there were a few cars ahead of us at the stop light. We waited a couple of seconds and then Ron motioned for the car to go ahead and turn. In response, the driver angrily motioned for us to go, which caused me to throw my hands up in the air as if to say, "What? We're being nice!" When we drove by the car, the driver - an old man, with a wrinkled face and cigar clenched in his teeth - said, quite loudly, "You idiot!"

It took Ron and me the whole ride home to calm down. I usually don't get mad at drivers, but this really ticked me off. We were trying to be courteous and for what?

This is why I don't have a gun. And, if I did, why I would never put it in the car with me.

Number Twenty-Seven

This is what I woke up to a week ago yesterday. I went out to take Zooey for one of her daily grass hunting trips (which, at last count, amount to six-hundred-and-thirty-one forays per day, only three of which amount to any approved behavior) and was greeted by this wonderful banner, created by my equally wonderful husband. Which got him off the hook for the "None of your damn business" comment I received from him when I asked him what he was doing in basement the night before.

Zooey and I walked around the yard for a bit and I continued to admire the quality and craftsmanship of the banner, mainly how the letters were all the same height and that there were no typos.

As I was reflecting on what the last twenty-seven years have brought us, I noticed Zooey doing her major business - in a really major way - right underneath my beautiful sign. "Zooey!" I cried. She responded by bounding over to me, wagging her tail, her tongue hanging out of her mouth. Well, I thought, that's pretty accurate. Sometimes more crap than you bargained for - in inappropriate places and at inconvenient times - but a lot of things that make you smile and laugh and forget the poo.

Must See TV

In case you happened to miss Friday night's opening ceremonies at the Olympics in Beijing, go to this link and then click on the "Opening Ceremony Sights and Sounds" link just below the video screen.

http://www.nbcolympics.com/video/player.html?assetid=0808_hd_ocb_hl_l1621

It's a great synopsis of what transpired, which can only be described as stunning. The amount of manpower, firepower, brainpower . . . unbelievable.

And the little guy with Yao Ming (the really tall guy) . . . a survivor of the recent earthquake. Twenty out of thirty of his classmates were killed. Once this nine-year old freed himself from the rubble of his school, he went back into the chaos and helped rescue two of his classmates. When asked why he took such a big risk, he said, "I'm one of the class leaders. I'm a hall monitor. It was my job."

Wow.

The Martin's Back Yard (Rated R)

I'm a bit ashamed to admit it. But then I saw some wreathing a sign at a church and I figured maybe they're not so bad. But still. How would you like it if you had dozens and dozens of naked ladies in your back yard?

One day I looked out my bedroom window and there they were. Standing there, tall and proud and baring it all. For the whole world to see.

I'm pretty sure there's another name for these long-limbed flowers. But Ron calls them naked ladies and I think that's funny. They're obviously so named because of the curly pink foliage that perches atop their long, long stems. It's like they all went to the beauty college for a perm and pink dye job.

So, if you're driving by and have small children in the car (or men who are prone to ogle), you might want to distract them by telling them that you see the ice cream truck ahead.

I'm thinking about handing out flyers inviting folks to come see the Naked Ladies of Merriam. For a small cover charge, of course.