Reeling in the Years

(Steely Dan, 1972)

One of Ron's and my favorite thing to do is estate sale hopping. We do it about once every two months and have quite a few things we've picked up over the years now taking up lots of space in our home. Today we went to three. Now, you may know that a cheap form of entertainment for us on lazy summer evenings is to drive around neighborhoods and look at houses. We have compiled unofficial lists of "Houses We Want to Go See If It Ever Goes Up for Sale," "Who Thought That Was A Good Color," and "That Is Butt Ugly." The best part of estate sales is actually getting to go inside some of those houses in search of buried treasure.

Sometimes it's quite depressing. I remember the first time I went to an estate sale and was horrified to see that the spices in the kitchen cabinet were for sale. Who buys that kind of stuff? I don't think I really want to know. The bathrooms are almost as bad . . . half empty bottles of shampoo, opened boxes of laxatives, pink foam rollers, electric shavers and faded bath towels.

Almost as fun as seeing all the crap people have accumulated over the years is the dreadful decor.

Today one of the houses we visited had turquoise wallpaper with shimmering birds all over it in the foyer. I felt like I had walked into a Hitchcock movie. The kitchen wallpaper was equally charming - tones of red, brown, gold and orange, with matching curtains. I have no idea what the pattern was, but I know for a fact that if I lived there I'd never be cooking. I'd be having a seizure. Kind of like those ones strobe lights bring on. The basement, however, was totally cool. It had this olive green shag carpeting, a massive bar and a linoleum section with a mirrored wall - I'll bet eighteen bucks that dance lessons were given on that patch of asbestos-ridden flooring. The bathroom featured a gold metallic wallpaper in a geometric pattern.

In one of the bedrooms were dozens of boxes of nylons. Not pantyhose. The kind you need a girdle or garter belt to wear. Ron suggested that I buy a pair and meet him at the top of the stairs one afternoon after work. You cannot begin to imagine the withering stare I gave him. Seriously, there were probably sixty pair of unopened Hanes and Christian Dior nylon stockings. They HAD to be forty years old! And they were all that kind of dark brown color . . . straight off of Mrs. Robinson's shapely gams.

For those of you who have not been initiated into the joys of estate sale-ing, here are some reasons why you should spend a Saturday traipsing into other peoples' homes . . .
1. You can find really great buys on just about everything, especially linens, garden tools, odd pieces of silver, furniture (although you really need to go early on the first day to get the best pieces), books, vinyl records and vintage clothing.
2. If you go on Saturday or Sunday, most prices are half off. A lot of times we'll go on Saturday and if we see something we really like, we'll go back on Sunday to try and negotiate a better price.
3. You can find out a lot about the people who lived there by rummaging through their stuff, especially their books. Today I saw a church plate (churches used to have plates made with an artistic rendering of the building, usually commemorating an anniversary - my parents have TONS). I therefore surmised that this might have been a pastor's home. It was confirmed when I found a book entitled, "Papa Was a Preacher."
4. It makes you realize that someday someone is going to be sifting through your belongings and it's best to pitch the incriminating stuff now while you've still got a brain.

So, grab a few bucks and a newspaper and go in search of treasure. And tacky decor.