Rants & Raves

Let's start with the Raves . . . this weekend we enlisted the help of Kate's roommate, Morghan, to take our family picture for our Christmas card. This is a total break with tradition. Up until this year it's always just been the kids on the card (or as Kate pointedly pointed out, sometimes just Tyler - as in last year's Italy collage). I thought I might have a mutiny on my hands but I was surprised (and a little annoyed because I had a whole slew of arguments to use) that no one seemed to mind. Keep in mind that up until a few years ago I was the photographer. I am certain that Kate and Tyler planned for months in advance how to be rotten little kids when it came to picture time. It was awful. I had to take literally three roles to get ONE picture where they weren't poking each other in the eyes or slobbering on one another. After we had the family shoot, Morghan took us to see her office, Barkley USA. They moved into the old TWA building downtown and it is beyond fabulous. It's ultra modern and sophisticated - and wild and wacky at the same time. No one has an office - even the VP has a cube, but they really aren't even cubes. They're more serpentine, flowing and curving and looking very sexy. They have ping pong tables, darts, ASTEROIDS!!!! and one of those rocket rides that used to be outside grocery stores that you'd beg your mom pleasepleasepleasepleaseplease can I have a nickel so I can blast through space and get the heck out of this stinkin' grocery store. They also have beer on tap - it's strongly suggested that all imbibing be done AFTER 4p.m. Maybe the coolest thing of all are the client meeting rooms. The Sonic Drive-In room has an actual menu board - like the ones you order on (yes, I pushed the red button, but no one waited on me. I'm writing a letter). The Blue Bunny room had a whole freezer full of Blue Bunny ice cream stuff. I didn't see the Helzberg Diamond room, but I'm sure there were precious stones just lying all over the place. For some people it would be complete sensory overload, but for those creative types it's like LSD. Like wow, man. It was a very fun (and perfectly legal) trip.

Ok, now for the rants . . . I have two.

Rant #1: Flyaway hair. I've just spent the last two hours retouching, sorry, editing, a really cute girl. Great smile, beautiful teeth, incredibly straight, fine hair. It's enough to make me want to start doing something very illegal and highly addictive. I zoom in to 300% and, using the miracle patch tool, remove each strand, one microscopic bit at a time. I'd love to put before and after pix on my blog, but then I'd have to get her permission and I'd probably end up telling her that next time she wants to get her pictures taken she might want to consider shaving her head. I'm so tactful.

Rant #2: Dumbledore is what? Last week, during an interview about the Harry Potter series, author JK Rowling made the startling revelation that Dumbledore (the headmaster at Hogwarts, the wizarding school) was gay. YOU HAVE GOT TO BE KIDDING ME????? You'd think that in seven books - and about 6,000 pages - that there might have been some sort of tip off to that fact. I think Ms Rowling needs to take a writing course in Character Development. That's like Harper Lee revealing that Atticus and Calpurnia had a thing going on in "To Kill A Mockingbird." I have two theories as to why she waited so long to out him. One: She knew it would be a HUGE log to throw on the fire set by some religious right groups who were already convinced that children reading her books would all change their names to Damien and begin asking their moms to pick up some "eyes of newt" at the grocery store. Two: She was starting to shiver from being out of the limelight and, thus, needed to find a way back into that warm spotlight.

So there you have it. One rave. Two rants. Time for bed.