I curse this unseasonable weather. I curse global warming. I curse having to sweat and slave over a hot stove just to slap dinner on the table. I curse Gary Lezak for never using my clever phrase "partly moony" on his broadcast. I curse the thought of having to turn on the AC in May. A pox on it all.
Seriously, what happened to the gentle, meandering rites of Spring? Where are the delicately budding jack-in-the-pulpits and jonquils, the lilies of the valley and snow crocuses? Where's the unmistakeable green film of pollen on the hoods of our cars? Where's the eight-day stretch of dreary rainy days? Where's the beef? Ok, I know they were here, but that stupid snap of freezing cold weather turned everything to mush (although I noticed some homes in Mission Hills with still-beautiful tulips. They must pay people to stay awake all night and breathe on them). Our bleeding hearts have bled out, the azaelas are shot, the dogwoods have bought the farm and the naked ladies may never rise. It makes me sick, sick, sick.
However, there may be an upside to it all. Maybe our walnut trees won't grow those pungent green balls that pound our house incessantly and make walking in the grass a navigational nightmare. We've got about seven of those trees and even though I love the shade those stupid nuts are a pain in the nuts. (Crude, I know, but really!). At our old house we bribed Tyler to pick up the walnuts telling him we'd give him a nickel for every one. He pocketed $80.
We also have those trees that spawn helicopters. Not the kind that pull your weave out, but the ones that look like locust wings (remember how deafening those things were last summer?). They're a pain in the neck, too. The cold weather didn't stunt their production. I find them everywhere (almost as bad as Zooey's hair). Thank the Lord that we don't have a cottonwood. I REALLY HATE those things. All those poofy white puffs that float everywhere. Makes me feel like some duck has been caught by a fox.
So, bring back the Spring, Jimmy Dean! And some of your tasty sausages, too.
2 comments:
this is the sole reason i have not called my mother for 3 weeks. my dad and her were devastated over the cold spell around Easter. she acts like one of her kids is dying. which, she has the right to, considering their garden is huge and their life for 6 months, i just can't take it.
i hope your flowers somehow bounce back. it is sad seeing the poor guys all shriveled everyday.
spring is where it's at.
Post a Comment