am I nuts or just have too much time on my hands?

Here I sit . . . no wedding albums to design . . . no zits to zap (on pictures, not me - I've been zit free for a pathetically long time) . . . nothing to do around the house (yep, that's a total lie) and I figure "Why not pretend you're a hipster and create a blog?" Incidentally, I found out that the definition of a hipster (roughly) is someone who sat around in coffee houses in San Francisco in the 60's, drinking Sanka and listening to jazz and thinking thought deep and confusing thoughts. A hippie, on the other hand, lived in a different part of San Francisco, sat around in Golden Gate Park and shared food, love, psychedelics and the idea that money was unncecessary and evil. Source of information: The American Experience, Monday nights on PBS (great show, by the way).

So . . . a blog. Sounds just a little repulsive. Like a blob. Or glob. Whatever. It gives me a venue to rant, rave, vent, theorize, prophesy, howl, poke fun at, endorse - this is no doubt what the founding fathers were thinking of when they included "freedom of speech" in the DOI.

So what to talk about? How about dog hair? We have a cute dog named Zooey. She's a black lab. Therefore, in the springtime, our house resembles a black lab. There's hair everywhere. I'm really not kidding. I find black hair on my stove and I get apoplectic. I find black hair in my dishrag and I jump up and down and fling the dishrag about until it's gone (just means it's landed somewhere else). Piles of her hair congregate in every corner, along every baseboard, places you'd think hair could not travel. It doesn't matter that I take her outside every day (ok, maybe once a week) and brush her like a madman. Birds could build five-story avian condos with the hair I brush off in one trip to the patio salon. Rabbits could feather (hair) their warrens for a year (er, maybe just six months, given how often they breed). If I could figure out a way to turn Zooey's hair into some sort of renewable fuel I'd be a gazillionaire eight times over. Just thinking about it gets my dander up (!) There's some tree (I think it's the ginko) that drops all of its leaves at once. Boom. Done. Leafless. That's what I want Zooey to do. Boom. Done. Hairless. Hmmmm