Going Green

I don't know what exactly made me wake up one day with the conviction that I needed to be a more responsible citizen when it comes to caring for our planet. I think it started when Ron went to Alaska a couple of summer ago on a mission trip and brought back pictures of a HUGE iceberg that had markers indicating how much it has receeded in the last decade or so. Or maybe it was the arguments made by the compelling and erudite Mr. Al Gore in "An Inconvenient Truth." Or maybe it was watching "Planet Earth" over the last few weeks. Oh, wait. Now I remember. It was the $300 bill from BP last month. Sadly, it took a painful tweek in the old pocketbook that made me reach my boiling point.

That was before gas hit a stinking $2.86 per gallon. The thought of having to put $45+ in the Kia to fill it up had me reaching for the crazy pills (and no one likes when that happens), so, Ron and I decided to voluntarily subject ourselves to the maddening manipulation and unending numerical vortex of the - dum da da da DAAAAA - the almighty car dealership. We've had four Toyotas over the last 20 years and think they're great cars. We have also been told repeatedly in both mass produced written communications and silky, seductive recorded messages that we are "valued customers." That made us feel really special. Well, after our four-hour experience today I'd like to see how they treat some poor sap who is not a "valued customer."

We decided to trade in our 2004 Kia. Now, we know that Kias are not in the same league as a Lexus or Porsche, and that their resale value is less than stellar. But it was a top of the line model, with leather seats, shiny wood details, side airbags and an engine that starts every time, the first time. And pretty low mileage as mileage goes. On his way out the door to take a look at our car, Bob, our salesman, asked us what we'd like to get for it. FIRST MISTAKE: We had not looked at the blue book value. It's stupidly easy to do. Do your homework.

After poking and prodding the Kia, Bob swaggers back over to us and gives us a figure. I am completely and utterly stunned. "That's really, really low," I said. We could get more for our riding lawnmower. Without wheels. I was hot. Ron told me later that my whole head turned bright red. I HATE when that happens! Ron's just sitting back, with his legs crossed, shrugging his shoulders, looking at me. Ah, I think to myself. I get it. I'm the bad cop today. So I tell our salesman "That's too low, Bob. What's blue book?" I ask. He said, "You mean Kelley's?" I almost said, "No, I want Regis' blue book." So he goes over to this computer that's in the middle of the showroom and has a handwritten sign that says "For Superior Toyota employees ONLY." Like I'd get on it and start writing this post. He starts plugging in stuff and yelling across the room, "Jan, does it have side airbags?" Yes, Burt. I mean, Bob. Get my name right, peehead. Meanwhile, Ron's frantically trying to get Tyler on the phone to have him check the blue book value of our car on our computer. No luck. Bob comes back and asks what we want to get out of it. I'm like, "I don't know. What's blue book on it? That's how much I want" He tells me it's $500 more than what he first offered. Oh, for cryin' out loud. "Not enough." He starts blaming it on the workmanship of the Kia. He blames it what the market will bear. He even blames his hemorroids. Not really. "Now," he claims, "if it were a Toyota it'd be twice that." Blah, blah, blah. Don't really care, Bob. So he goes back into the "Let's pretend we're agonizing over how to make this work" glass box with the finance guys and comes back with $1500 more.

At this point Ron's about to pull a Richard, which is pretty much loudly voicing his low opinion of something, with a liberal sprinkling of obscenities, followed by a grand and attention-getting exit. We point out that this will be our fifth Toyota with this dealership. Then Ron, in a brilliantly executed and flawlessly timed move, plays the "valued customer" card. As if on cue, we both get up to leave. Bob, jumps up, says to wait a minute, he'll see what he can do. Anyway, through my iron will and sheer determination to beat the damn system we finally get $2,500 more than the first offer. At this point I'm pretty proud of myself and thinking I could possibly do this for a living. Until we get home.

Blue book on our Kia was about $1,000 more than what we got (and showed that Bob flat out lied to me, but I guess that's his job. How sad is that?) Ron keeps talking about how good I was and tells me that I kicked butt. I think I should have aimed those kicks at an area in front of the butt.

So what did all of this wrangling get us? A charcoal grey 2007 Prius Hybrid that gets 55 mpg combined city/highway. It's sooooo cool. We're going to save the planet. And BP is gonna go bankrupt without our $300 every month. Ha!