I'm thinking back to yesterday. I'm thinking, "Well, there's seven hours of my life I'll never get back." Yesterday I went to a Photoshop seminar at Bartle Hall. I went with three other women who happen to all work together at a wonderful photography studio called epagaFOTO (pronounced ee-pay-ga; it's "agape" spelled backwards). I am blessed to be able to design wedding albums for Jessica, the owner and photographer and work on some other marketing pieces - it keeps me busy and Tyler in college, so, like I said, I'm blessed. Check out her website . . . http://www.epagafoto.com/.
The seminar, however, was not blessed. Unless you want to call it a blessed mind-bending, mind-numbing, mind-altering event. Ohmyallah! The presenter was this middle-aged, bearded guy with a pony tail down his back with obviously waaaaayyyyy too much time on his hands. When he's not flying about the country doing these seminars he's hunched over his Mac creating rivets and scuffed up door mats and neon lighting for stupidly intricate photoshop "paintings." It takes him about a year to do ONE painting and then heck if I know who buys it. Probably Adobe, so they can put it on a beginner CD that states "See What YOU Can Do With the Magic of Photoshop!" When I design wedding albums, one spread (two pages) might have as many as 15 layers, and that's a big file. This guy's stuff has - get ready - 15,000 layers! It makes my head hurt just thinking about it. He has to save each painting in multiple files because the computer starts spewing green vomit and levitating and hurling lewd comments about his mother's computer when he tries to save it as one file. His computer at home has 16 GIGABYTES of RAM and three TERABYTES of memory (I don't even know what a terabyte is . . . must be dreadfully big).
All four of us agreed that these techniques were more geared towards commercial/graphic artists - he didn't show one picture with a zit on it. I mean, really. We also agreed to skip the last session - although he said it would all "come together" and make sense. I'm thinking that the session could have lasted until Christmas and I still wouldn't have a clue as to what he was talking about. After we made our escape through the bowels of the Convention Center we headed to Baby Cakes, a fabulous little bakery down in the River Market area. They make melt-in-your-mouth cupcakes and some pretty wicked chocolates. I'm planning on luring Ron down there some weekend to look at lofts and then kidnap him and take him to Baby Cakes. By the way, the hot new trend in wedding cakes IS cup cakes! I think about four of the last five albums I've designed have featured them. I'm over it already.
Gotta run. I'm getting ready to start re-creating the ceiling of the Sistine Chapel in Photoshop for our Christmas card. If you don't hear from me in a week or so assume I've been crushed by the suspended monitor - 'cause I'll be on my back, of course.
2 comments:
HAHAHAHAHA. i hope no one took this guy seriously. he's probably a major burn out from the 60s. um, my sister had vegan cupcakes at her wedding, but that 4 years ago, so she was way ahead of the curve! (wink wink) but they went nicely with the backyard setting.
i'm so glad we're on the christmas mailing list. i can't wait to see what you've stayed up till 4 doing for the next three months!
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